Tuesday 23 June 2015

YOU

In a glimpse into your eyes
I see calmness of soul,
a product of your smile.

A careful study of You,
like an eight unit course,
a precision of aesthetics.

The ball of your eyes,
the succulent flesh of your face,
the hairdo, all make without 
doubt a perfect compliment
of You.



Why Women Apologize and Should Stop

EVERYONE knows what dirt tastes like. Last week, I ordered a salad at a restaurant and found myself crunching on a shoddily washed leaf. I took a few more sandy bites before explaining the situation to my waiter, apologizing and asking to see the menu once again.
When my second-choice dish arrived, 20 minutes later, it was blanketed in bacon. I don’t eat meat, a dietary restriction for which I was “very sorry.” By the time a plate of edible food appeared, my fork had been a casualty of the confusion. Unable to catch the waiter’s eye, I walked to the kitchen, where I apologized to a busboy.
For so many women, myself included, apologies are inexorably linked with our conception of politeness. Somehow, as we grew into adults, “sorry” became an entry point to basic affirmative sentences.
True, this affliction is not exclusive to our gender. It can be found among men — in particular, British men — but it is far more stereotypical of women. So, in the words of a popular 2014 Pantene ad, why are women always apologizing?

One commonly posited theory, which informs everything from shampoo commercials to doctoral dissertations, is that being perceived as rude is so abhorrent to women that we need to make ourselves less obtrusive before we speak up. According to a 2010 study in the journal Psychological Science, “women have a lower threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior,” so are more likely to see a need for an apology in everyday situations. We are even apt to shoehorn apologies into instances where being direct is vital — such as when demanding a raise.
I’m dubious about this catchall explanation. The bend-over-backward compulsion to avoid giving offense might account for plenty of unnecessary “pleases” or “excuse me’s,” but it doesn’t sufficiently account for the intensity of a “sorry.”
Here’s the paradox: Every day, we see more unapologetically self-assured female role models, yet women’s extreme prostration seems only to have increased. A recent “Inside Amy Schumer” sketch wonderfully skewered our propensity to apologize: One by one, various accomplished women on a panel apologize, first for trivial things like being allergic to caffeine, or for talking over one another, but finally for having the gall to exist in the first place. The discrepancy between what those women offer the world and how they conduct themselves in it elevates the sketch from amusing to disturbing.

This is not to suggest that all men are rude and unapologetic and that women are the inverse, but something incongruous is happening in women’s behavior that can’t be chalked up to reflexive politeness. Look at the Metropolitan Transportation Authority’s new ads warning New York straphangers against inconsiderate behavior, like eating on the subway or manspreading. Graphics depict men displaying almost all these behaviors, except, perhaps in an effort to provide gender balance, the one that advises women to avoid elbows-out personal grooming.
The scenario seems ridiculously unrealistic — and not just because it’s the only one I’ve never witnessed firsthand. The ads are saying that men are far less likely to be conscious of personal space than women. So why, even after making ourselves physically smaller on the subway, are we still the ones apologizing?
I think it’s because we haven’t addressed the deeper meaning of these “sorrys.” To me, they sound like tiny acts of revolt, expressions of frustration or anger at having to ask for what should be automatic. They are employed when a situation is so clearly not our fault that we think the apology will serve as a prompt for the person who should be apologizing.

It’s a Trojan horse for genuine annoyance, a tactic left over from centuries of having to couch basic demands in palatable packages in order to get what we want. All that exhausting maneuvering is the etiquette equivalent of a vestigial tail.
When a woman opens her window at 3 a.m. on a weeknight and shouts to her neighbor, “I’m sorry, but can you turn the music down?” the “sorry” is not an attempt at unobtrusiveness. It’s not even good manners. It’s a poor translation for a string of expletives.
These sorrys are actually assertive. Unfortunately, for both addresser and addressee alike, the “assertive apology” is too indirect, obscuring the point. It comes off as passive-aggressive — the easiest of the aggressions to dismiss.
So we should stop. It’s not what we’re saying that’s the problem, it’s what we’re not saying. The sorrys are taking up airtime that should be used for making logical, declarative statements, expressing opinions and relaying accurate impressions of what we want.
We are not sorry to ask for an email that should have been sent to us weeks ago, or to expect to receive the item we paid for, or to be bumped into on the subway. Yes, we should take the shampoo commercial’s advice and weed out the word when it’s superfluous. But it’s just as important to articulate exactly what we mean in its place.
Julia Child, a consummate charmer, said it best: “Never apologize.” Probably because she never asked anyone to eat dirt.



source: NEW YORK TIMES

MARY KAY- poem

                 MARY KAY                                                                    




You caused it...
And everyone knows it.

When you are going to a party,
And your face is so messy
I rescue you with a pity.
So that you can look really pretty.

Yes i know...

                                                     And many trousers troop after you like flies

                                                     Trailing you here and there like spies
                                                     Some even take you for Mrs. Nice.
                                                     Not knowing all were lies.

But it's not my fault...

Since 'his' eyes control 'his' mind,
Many minds will likely remain blind.
Oh! what a charming charm to bind.
Sincerely, to me, Mary Kay is kind.

Nemesis...

But what a sorry case for me,
It rained and my face you need to see
How it became a factory of cocoa tea
Just as the sky started to pee.

Metamorphosis...

Different now my face; he chased me away
This time, sadly, my outing didn't pay
And i pray never again to have such a day
When all will know i use Mary Kay.

Since then I've learned to stay indoor
Whenever there will be a downpour.

20-06-2015 

Friday 19 June 2015

‘Doctor Faustus,’ All That Heaven Won’t Allow


 








Psst, Mephistopheles, are you still around, making deals on behalf of the Devil? Promise to give me back the two hours I spent enduring the Classic Stage Company’s misguided production of Christopher Marlowe’s “Doctor Faustus,” and maybe we can come to an agreement. Eternal damnation doesn’t seem all that bothersome if my memories of this show, starring Chris Noth as the titular soul seller and Zach Grenier as Mephistopheles, can be permanently erased.
The production, directed by the veteran Andrei Belgrader, employs a heavily adapted text by David Bridel and Mr. Belgrader. Language has been modernized: “thou” becoming “you” and “hath” becoming “has,” etc. Characters have been tweaked or eliminated, speeches curtailed. Some innovations are helpful, such as having Wagner (Walker Jones), Doctor Faustus’s loyal assistant, pipe up with translations of the Latin that Marlowe sprinkled through the text.
 Others, not so much. This updated colloquial comedy is not an improvement on the original. (And if thou cannot improve on centuries-old comedy, thou art in trouble.) But, in general, the emendations and cuts are not particularly detrimental to the drama, since there isn’t much in the first place. “Doctor Faustus” is not a text of particular sanctity; it’s rarely performed, and rather than a “tragical history,” as it was called, the play is more a moral (or rather amoral) pageant depicting the title character romping through the world, causing mischief after making that famous pact with the Devil.
 
 

Mr. Noth deserves some credit for undertaking this challenging and not entirely rewarding classical role. Then again, maybe some therapy might be in order, too? Well known for his television work — scouring the New York streets for villains on “Law & Order,” toying with the heart of poor Carrie Bradshaw on “Sex and the City” and later playing the tough governor of Illinois on “The Good Wife” — he has made sporadic appearances on the New York stage, most recently in Gore Vidal’s “The Best Man.” He’s a fine actor with natural magnetism and a smooth, dark voice.
But the ornate and often arcane language of Marlowe (even without the “thous”) does not come naturally to him, and while Mr. Noth does his best to animate Doctor Faustus’s strange odyssey, he fails to imbue the character with either any exultation in his dark powers, or the subterranean ambivalence of a man whose conscience eventually begins to gnaw at him as the final reckoning approaches.

Mr. Grenier (who also appears on “The Good Wife”) fares better as a rather gloomy Mephistopheles, who first shuffles onstage looking like a slab of concrete accessorized with the agonized faces of souls in torment, and then shows up again clad in the humble garb of a monk. Mr. Grenier’s black-velvet voice wraps itself around the language with finesse, and his great, doleful eyes suggest that Mephistopheles is, as he admits, “in hell” even on earth, having once been an angel basking in the presence of God before he slipped up and got in cahoots with Lucifer.
Now he glides down, or rather up, whenever someone praises the Devil and damns the Lord, as Doctor Faustus, sated with learning that doesn’t satisfy, does in the opening scene. After signing a blood pact with manly fortitude and staunch enthusiasm, Faustus is granted 24 years of life with Mephistopheles at hand to do his bidding. Then his soul will be damned to hell, of course.
By today’s standards, unfortunately, the wicked fun and games Faustus and friends get up to don’t appear particularly naughty or even enjoyable. Sure, they tease the pope and a cardinal by making their food and drink disappear. (Ha-ha.) At the behest of an emperor, Faustus conjures the spirit of Alexander the Great. And, in one of the play’s most famous sequences, Faustus raises the spirit of Helen of Troy. Here played by the comely Marina Lazzaretto, she slinks out of her stuffy formal gown to enfold Faustus in a naked embrace.
But mostly, these diversions seem rather tame: It’s not really all that much fun to chat with the seven deadly sins, for instance. (Most of us have at least a nodding acquaintance with a few of them.) Mr. Belgrader and Mr. Bridel have tried to enliven the proceedings by inviting some in the audience to join in the revels — Mephistopheles teasingly searches the seats for the embodiment of the sin of pride — but these devices are not terribly inventive, either.
Watching over these shenanigans are Wagner, played with sly humor by Mr. Jones, and two dumb-and-dumber rustics: Robin, played as an uber-doofus by Lucas Caleb Rooney, and the still dimmer bulb Dick (roughly the equivalent of Rafe in the original text), whom Ken Cheeseman portrays as a yokel who garbles his English oddly. Still, as I mentioned earlier, the updated shtick Mr. Bridel and Mr. Belgrader have fashioned for these fine comic actors, while certainly easier to comprehend in terms of language, doesn’t exactly render anyone helpless with laughter.
The production’s central problem remains Mr. Noth’s inability to invest his Doctor Faustus with palpable inner life. He’s not terribly convincing either in his moments of unbridled pleasure and pride in doing dark deeds, or as a tormented man grappling with the vestiges of his conscience. In the end, Mr. Noth’s Faustus comes across as a man who doesn’t actually have a soul to sell. Turns out this time the Devil got a raw deal.

Source: NEW YORK TIMES



Can You Be My Ododo?- POEM


So afraid to let you know
A fear of a NO response makes it so
Please, can you be my ododo?

As in me, the feeling's gone viral
Though conscious with my moral
Please, can you be my ododo?

There's something about you, so special
It's deeply rooted in your frontal
Please, can you be my ododo?



I'm wary with the way i feel
Don't blame me, it's simply my reel
Please, can you be my ododo?

NEWS:Charleston Killing-The Culprit Caught at Last

A 21 year old white killed nine people in a church. A Boko Haram?
 http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/20/us/charleston-shooting-dylann-storm-roof.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=a-lede-package-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0

FEMINIST PERSPECTIVE

A rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but a woman called by a devaluing name will only be weakened by the misnomer- Maya Angelou

MAIDEN POST: INSPIRATIONAL

You are the product of your mind; your mind processes who you will become.